Exile

I guess now that I’m no longer needed, I can go away once more. It’s always the same with me. After I’ve done my part, there’s nothing left to hold me or anchor me to a place. Everything else are just formalities. What’s left? FOC’s over. Nothing to look forward to. The ball’s in her court and she’s just not interested. FGB and Hawt Chick has things going their way; I’d just be something extra. Even Java and Tinkerbell are already together.

After awhile, it’s just me. How do I justify staying on when I’m not needed?

I’m actually glad now that it is over. Now there is no reason for me to be there at all. I can easily just move on. Or can I? I don’t know. I’m too attached to certain people that I may not want to leave. But I guess for my sanity’s sake… I have to.

Actually, part of me wants to stay on. I want to stay on and wait for her. But on the other hand… What’s the use? Is she worth my waiting for? Yes. But would she choose me? No. Haha. So. What should I do? Stay or go?

Updates: In all fairness to the guys, they’ve been pretty friendly to me. But I guess that’s the thing. I just don’t click with them. No matter how I see it, I’m still the outsider. No matter how I try to get into the action, I’m always left feeling like I’m viewing everything from the outside. But like I said, it’s not their fault. It’s just me. I’m never much of a people person and I guess I never will.

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Published in: on April 16, 2006 at 1:54pm  Leave a Comment  

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