Affirmations

So. After last night’s TAWG, I was already more or less sure of what I am called to do. Like Gideon, I asked for yet another sign of affirmation. And as always, God answered.

Went down to church earlier for the charismatic ministry’s core team meeting. The usual, etc. Then, after the meeting, one of the leaders, Auntie Serina, told me that she, Uncle Andrew and a few others have been praying for me almost every day regarding my vocational calling. Now, I don’t recall whether or not I have mentioned my call to full time ministry to them or not… But the way Auntie Serina phrased the word ‘vocation’ gave me a start.

And she kind of smiled knowingly. Then she went on saying that I should pray further to see what God has planned with regards to vocational and religious order. Or something to that effect. I couldn’t really remember all the other details because I was a bit too stunned out of my wits.

I’m still not ready yet though. I know I have still a long way to go. I have told God during my TAWG that I’m not ready yet. But I guess, the key thing is to let go and let God. I know I’m not ready. But God is! And I know I can’t do a lot of things. But that’s the whole point! I can’t. God can!

Advertisements
Published in: on August 4, 2009 at 11:26pm  Comments (1)  

Harvest Time

So anyway, lately I’ve been thinking and praying hard about ministry. When I was attending TCC, I felt stirrings of God’s call into full time ministry. I resisted. Well, not exactly. I knew I wanted to do something that involves shepherding God’s people but I wasn’t ready then.

Loads of things were going on in my life. Too much distraction and disruption. I wouldn’t say I was a model christian. I’m still not one. But I’ve come to realise it’s not how good a christian we are but rather, it’s how we let God take control.

Anyway, I left church. I wouldn’t say I back slided then. I was still in love with God. I love Him and all that but I just didn’t like the idea of coming to church. And then, shit happened. And so I was away from God’s people. A few months ago, my mum reintroduced me to my catholic faith. (There’s a story here. A very long story. Will probably write that down next time.)

God works in strange ways. The only reason why I agreed to attend my mother’s church was because of the thrift shop that was opened every 2 weeks. I would visit the shop to buy second hand books. And since I read a lot, I bought a lot! Moreover, at that time, I was out of a job. The next best thing I could do was sign up and become a financial consultant. My mum didn’t like me being a financial consultant as pay is commission based and there wasn’t stability. (And that’s according to her and not to the industry as a whole…) So to make her happy, I would accompany her and my dad to church every sunday.

A few months later, in february or march, I discovered that there was a charismatic prayer ministry in that catholic church. Praise God! I missed the charismatic ministry because TCC is a pentecostal church and I love the charismatic aspect of the church. The whole shebang! Speaking in tongues, lively praise and worship, prophetic words, etc. So when I came back to the catholic church, somehow or other, God opened my eyes to the fact that even in the catholic church, there is a charismatic renewal!

Wow. So within a few weeks of attending the ministry, next thing I know, I’m serving as a guitarist in the ministry’s service team. Fast forward a couple more months and I’m now also serving in my church’s choir. Fast forward to today, I’m to be serving as a catechist soon as well.

However, that wasn’t enough. Remember I mentioned I wanted to serve full time before? Well, somehow or other, God heard me. There was this two song I loved. One’s titled “Song Of The Young Prophet” and the other is titled “Send Me“. Anyway, I had kind of made these two songs my prayer and all I can say is I can see God’s hand moving even now.

Last Saturday, I was at a retreat. The retreat was for the catholic neighbourhood groups in my parish. So one of the issues brought up was that a lot of times, people want to see the priests being involved with more of the events being organised. The problem we acknowledge though is that there are just not enough priests. When I heard that, immediately my heart jumped and this phrase “the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few” came into my mind. Someone else apparently have the same thought and he spoke it out saying that we need more priests as there are just not enough of them.

I got back a few hours ago from my charismatic ministry. Part of what Father Paul Goh spoke about was also about this verse. The only thing that really jumped out at me apart from the funny jokes he told was also the phrase “the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few”. It’s like God’s reaffirming something to me.

People say that if one person says something about you, it could just be that the person doesn’t like you. If two person were to say something about you, it could just be that the two of them are plotting against you. But if three or more people were to say something, it’s time we examine ourselves because there really could be something wrong with us. And this time, for me, it’s sort of an affirmation that I am to devote myself to full time ministry.

I, however am a stubborn guy. I told God that I’m afraid. I’m like Jonah running away. I told Him to give me another sign. Well… It seems He just did. I was doing my TAWG earlier. I opened the bible and the bible opened at Matthew 9:35. Guess what?

v35Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. v36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. v37Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. v38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

So. I’m still afraid. But I will pray and ask for courage. I will pray and ask God for His will to be done.

Published in: on August 4, 2009 at 2:43am  Leave a Comment  

Main blog’s on hiatus…

my main blog’s on hiatus and i desperately needed a place to blog so i’m activating this site again for now.

Published in: on August 3, 2009 at 12:37am  Leave a Comment